Exciting

So today, I had work.... but I sort of (lied) to my parents. I told them that I got off work two hours after I really did. And instead of going home, I went to a crisis pregnancy center I found.

They gave me a lot of information, and were really helpful with suggestions on what I should do and how to tell my parents. They even said that if I ever needed help, I could come to them. They offer classes on parenting and stuff, so if I want to keep my baby it's an option, and if my parents aren't supportive of me, they have options for me, too, but that the best thing I can do is tell my parents. And I feel like I'm finally ready.

I think tomorrow is the day to tell them.


And now to check my emails.....

"your uterus is about the size of a grapefruit and you can probably feel your waistline is expanding. If this is your first pregnancy, you are probably not showing yet, although you may feel like everyone can notice."

"there are only 32 weeks to go! You might be feeling a little off now as your body begins adjusting to your baby growing inside of you. Fatigue and an increased appetite are among the first sensations that a newly pregnant mom-to-be experiences. The more knowledgeable you are about what is happening as you progress through your pregnancy, the more confident you will feel. Women who have experienced childbirth one or more times are also great resources for information; but remember, each pregnancy is unique. For example, some mothers will tell you of the severe morning sickness they experienced while others will have had none. Right now just be a sponge and absorb all the information and advice that you can, but be sure to decide for yourself what is best for you."

(Boy is it right! I'm hungry all the time, and really tired.... and I DO have some morning sickness, but it's isn't horrible...)

"An ultrasound done of your baby at this stage should show a fluttering heartbeat. Your baby is between 0.56 and 0.8 inches from crown to rump or about the size of a grape. Its liver is churning out large amounts of red blood cells, and will continue to until the bone marrow forms and takes over this function. Week eight marks the beginning of a very busy developmental stage: its face continues to change as the ears, eyes and the tip of the nose appear; the intestines start to form in the umbilical cord; and your baby's teeth begin to develop under the gums."

(I can't wait to see an ultrasound of my baby!)

It seems like there is so much that I'm not ready for, but so much I'm preparing for.
My email also told me of some Yoga poses to start doing that can make childbirth easier, so I'm trying to!


"You should avoid drinking large amounts of caffeinated beverages while you are pregnant. While there is no solid proof, strong evidence suggests that large daily doses of caffeine during pregnancy may increase the occurrence of miscarriage, preterm delivery and low birth weight. Instead of your morning latte, try the following decaffeinated beverages:
Herbal tea
Decaffeinated coffee
A mug of warm, low-fat or fat-free milk
Sparkling mineral water"

I've been trying to drink less coffee... but I have been drinking herbal tea. It seems to sooth my stomach.



I guess that's all for today... wish me luck as I try to tell my parents tomorrow!
Going to that clinic really did help.... it makes me feel a lot better that someone knows about my secret, and that I have a lot of options I hadn't considered.

What I found out today...

So basically I don't have long to post. I'm between church and some afternoon activites, so I'm just going to copy paste the important things from my email...

"Even though it may not look like your body has changed from the outside, many changes have occurred throughout your body. Before you were pregnant your uterus was about the size of your fist, but it is now about the size of a grapefruit."
It also said that my blood volume has increased 40 to 50 percent. And it's right.... my breasts ARE changing. And very very sore. :/

"Everything that is present in an adult human is now present in the small embryo. The ears are continuing to form externally and internally. The bones are beginning to form, and the muscles can contract. Fingers and toes are webbed but are growing longer.
The facial features continue to mature. The tip of the nose is present and the eyelids are now more developed. The embryonic tail is also disappearing, and your baby's body is beginning to straighten out.
While your baby's gender has already been determined, the external genitals are still forming and cannot be clearly seen."

My baby is about 1 inch long now.

I also found out that I have to stop using the acne medicine I've been using, and change to a new one. I'll just buy some on my break at work tomorrow I guess. I have to stop using Salicylic acid because it's unsafe.... so I need one with Benzoyl Peroxide.


I have to go now! Bye!!! :)

About a boy...

A lot of people have been emailing me or commenting me asking questions about the boy. Had I told him, is he my boyfriend, etc?

The big answer to all of them is no.

I guess it all started last school year. He was in my science class. He would ask me about church, my religion, and the big question.... was I a virgin? And I had replied yeah... I guess I wasn't ever one of those strong girls who was absolutely positive she was waiting for marriage. I was one of those who wanted to, but was still... apprehensive about not being able to wait.
Anyway, he asked me if I ever wanted to with anyone, and I said that I didn't know... I mean, after I was married yes, but otherwise.... no.

Anyway, as weeks went by, he and I got to be friends. Before the end of the year, we exchanged numbers so we could go hang out over the summer. We went to the movies once... and he was telling me that guys can tell when you're a virgin, and you'll get made fun of.... basically telling me that he could help me lose my virginity without being made fun of, and he wouldn't tell anyone. I guess I never should have trusted him. At first I said no, but after weeks of him offering me all through June, I decided I would.

July 3rd. That's when it happened. We used protection..... but I guess it didn't work. Condoms aren't always effective, and I'm not sure he really knew what he was doing.

So no, he isn't around. After that day, he hasn't called me... and the one time I considered telling him, the day I saw my test, well.... he didn't answer. So I figure I don't want to tell him. Until I have to... I'm scared of telling him, too... :(

Well.... thanks for all the comments and stuff. :/
I'm really nauseous today, and super-tired...

Update/Thanks everyone

I really appreciate all of the comments that people have sent me... It really helps me know that I have people out there who care.

I'm thinking about how I can tell my mom and dad. I know that they will be disappointed. In the Bible so many people struggled with lust, but they're response is likely to be that I'm supposed to learn from that and do my best to overcome it... and getting pregnant isn't exactly a display of the best, I guess...

I'm feeling a lot less nauseous now. Julie is right.... sucking on peppermints is helpful. Ever since I was a little girl, my grandpa gave me peppermints.... and so it's not odd for me to have them. Not something my parents would think weirdly about.

I'm just..... I don't know. I have to tell them eventually. I'm just scared.

Research about my baby

I'm in week seven. This means that my baby is growing a lot...

Baby's elbows are forming and fingers are developing! The feet are appearing and even have little notches for toes... Ears, eyes, and nose are starting to appear, but still look very alien in appearance. My baby's intestines are forming, but not in the body, out of it. Babies form their intestines in the umbilical cord. His or her teeth are developing under the gums, too.

My baby could be growing in the ocean right now. The saline content of the amniotic fluid is the same as that in the ocean.



Today I'm feeling super-nauseous. And really really sleepy. Unfortunately, my mother wakes me up at 9 every morning, so no sleeping in. I guess I'll start going to bed even earlier!

School starts next week... :/

Thanks Aimee!

This morning I woke up and just...... I really don't feel well. It could just be the stress of everything. It's a really big issue to deal with this on my own. I got comment from Aimee... She's right. It is a big burden to deal with on my own... But I also think I might change my diet a little bit. I know for sure that I need vegetables, so I guess I'll start eating those... Maybe tell my mom I want her to buy salad at the store or something... I guess I've never really been a vegetable person, but salad is tolerable, I suppose...

Today marks seven weeks and two days... Hopefully this all works out... :/

.....Great. Perfect. Lovely.

I'm pregnant.
And 16.

And I only had sex once... And I can't tell my parents.
And I don't know what to do.

I'm really really really scared and confused and lost...
I guess I was stupid for trusting him. He told me I wouldn't get pregnant. Not if we only did it once. And we had protection...

I can't tell anyone. I guess that's why I chose to blog. I can be pretty anonymous, and still..... tell people. I'm nervous.

It would have been July 3rd. That's the day.... And now, I'm never going to forget it. That means my due date, according to some calculators I found online, is somewhere around March 25, 2008... And I'm nowhere near ready. I can't even tell people... isn't that half the fun of a pregnancy? Telling people?

I can't even see a doctor. My parents would know...


About my baby

He or she is about the size of a bean right now, so half an inch long. And his/her heart beats 150 times a minute!
I also learned that I have to be careful when it comes to caffeine.... which means pretty much no more than one cup of coffee or tea a day. :(
I'm supposed to be getting all these nutrients, but I really don't know how to do that with my parents watching. It's not like I can suddenly change my diet over this, and I can't afford to buy vitamins. I suppose in school I can try eating a more balanced diet, but still...

No raw eggs, no raw meat, no fish, no soft cheese.... a billion foods I can't eat. What have I gotten myself into?

And I'm supposed to exercise.... :/


So yeah...I'm really not sure what I'm doing. I mean, pregnancy? And I can't tell anyone...... this sucks so bad!!!